Just a moment, I happened to come to my brother’s blog, and was overwhelmed with emotions when I am reading it. Yes, I guess we are on the same boat..

Extracted from his blog: with italic and underlined as my comment….

“All that frustration in me has built up to a point where I just have to release it. I want to vent it out on that trio, but I can’t. I would do what I do best - ignore them and lead a separate life on my own.  I am not going to waste my time and energy bothering (or even trying to get involved in their lives anymore). “

Yes, just move on and pursue your life, I am sure God has better plans and companions for you, 3 years ago, I am in very good relationship with Wan Ying, and now, 3 years later, everything changes, i can’t do anything, but to move on, and lead my life separately without involving in her life anymore.

“It doesn’t make sense to me. Every time I make an attempt to bother about your life (a gentle whats app message or a text), you never do reply.”

Sometimes they are just simply plain busy, I guess committing in a relationship will end up losing some other friends, but what your friends can do is to balance their time spent together alone and the time spent with you and other friends. I am also quite upset that since the time Jesher has attached, I felt the disconnection between his brotherhood with me, guess I am just silly in thinking that, by connecting with him and after him, I will be able to grow deeper in the Lord, guess it would not happen anymore. Well, it doesn’t matter for now, cause I have predicted it will happen, and it really happened, guess I have to find the Lord in the future to listen to my stories.

“It doesn’t make sense to me. Leaders knew we were close. Right now, it is not the same anymore. I cannot bring myself to talk to either one of you.”

Sometimes, you just felt that you are intruding their time together, guess I understand what you are going through now, it is when you are troubles and problems, and you cannot share them to your closest friends (who are now attached), you felt a certain blockage, like God trying to close a door for you to enter. Honestly, sometimes i just want to find someone to chat about how I am going through in army, how I am struggling in the relationship with vic, but I guess, my door has also been closed.

“Going to the house used to be a happy thing for me. I crave and enjoy the presence, the worship and the word. I knew the fellowship was always going to be great. I loved the company. Right now, I actually dread it. I am going to a huge hall every other Sunday (it’s tough that I lose my weekends at times and whenever I return I get the cold shoulder) just for the word and the presence.”

It is when you are looking forward for church on sunday, but after the praise and worship, you cannot feel any presence from the Lord, you asked yourself, is it the place i really want to be? After service, when everyone was “ushered” to the particular eatery (usually fast food cause our CGL like to eat fast food) when everyone just ate their lunch quietly and some of them just talk random stuff, and after that, they will just depart from your lives and say bye to you for the weekend. Next weekend, it just happened again. There is no continuation, instead it became a routine. A move to Suntec changes everything, like you have told me, you still like the old service in Expo, yes, I have to admit, Expo is still the same, or should I say, the old E98 is still the best.

Have been speaking to Chancey and she says maybe hopping over to NCC would be a good thing. I do not know. I really do not know.

Maybe God has better plans for you, try praying this issue with Him, i guess he will definitely provide you with some indication on the church you should be going. To me, it is not the church that is important, the most important thing is that although we are from different church, we still serve the same God. And this is all that matters, serving God wholeheartedly.

Is this another trial that I have to endure? Perhaps.

Trust in the Lord, and I believe you will overcome this trial, Church is the formation of people and the Lord, and it is the people issue that force individual to backslide or to stay put in the Church, serving the Lord. No matter what, Brother, just remember that although everything will continue to change, one thing for sure is that, we will still be serving the same Lord, he will be the same forever and ever.

Hope these replies do help you, my sentence structures might not be error-free. Too much late nights makes my brain turns a bit haywire. Cheers, and see you later.